Snappy Comebacks

Like most tandem riders, we've had to endure our share of the "He's not pedaling!" comments. KJ, of course, doesn't seem to care. Following the advice of other tandem riders, I try to not let it bother me, but every once in awhile it gets to me. This morning we rode up to KJ's religious school, and KJ actually was doing a very good job of pedaling, in spite of the cloudy 46 degree weather. When we were within a block of the school, we stopped at a minimart for a snack (KJ prefers Little Debbie Zebra Cakes) because we were a few minutes early. As we pulled in, a Ford Expedition (a big-a**ed SUV) pulled in. A large guy (I wouldn't say he was fat, but he definitely could use some exercise) got out and dropped the usual "Hey! I don't think that guy in the back is pedaling.” comment on his way in to get his Sunday paper. I mumbled something about KJ pedaling on the way back, and let it go at that. As the guy got back in his SUV and drove off (no doubt headed 3 blocks or so back to his house), it occurred to me what a moron this guy was. If another cyclist wants to say something like that, OK, fine, you're trying to be funny. At least In my mind I formulated a few snappy responses, which I was smart enough to keep to myself:

1)“Neither are you...”
2)“At least he's on a bike...”
3)“And you're Lance Armstrong?”
4)"Better than driving an SUV..."

If you have a snappy comeback you would like to add, just let me know!